Essence
by My Sharpie Is Green
Summary: The seven moments that defined Lily and Severus' friendship.  [ONESHOT][DH SPOILERS][LExSS]


Seven moments that defined Snape and Lily's friendship.

Essence 

I.

They streaked past the countryside in the red caboose, the flame-haired girl and sallow-skinned boy on opposite ends of the compartment. He stared out the window, his eyes focused on the foliage parading past the windowpane; however, the girl's eyes are fixed on him. She watched as he absently flipped a small pentagonal card in his hands.

"What's that?"

"A chocolate frog card."

She cocked her head to side slightly, frowning slightly. "A what?"

"They're cards with famous witches and wizards on them. Look, see – this one's Ptolemy."

Lily crossed the compartment and sat down next to him, leaning over so that she could see the image on the card. On it was a tired-looking man with a long nose and curly white hair, captioned 'Claudius Ptolemy'. As she examined his biography, her curiosity turned to astonishment as the wizard disappeared from his frame.

"He..he _moved_!"

Severus shrugged, bored. "You can keep it, if you'd like. I already have him."

Taking it, Lily smiled and thanked him. Flipping it over in her own hands, she turned to Severus again. "I'm going to be on a chocolate frog card some day. Don't you think so?"

She grinned, and Severus smiled uncharacteristically back. "Yes, I do."

II.

Severus was slumped into a sofa in Slughorn's dungeon, his arms folded over his chest. Standing beside him, a miserable Lily frowned.

"This is ridiculous," Severus said.

Lily glanced over at him. Around them, people were dancing to music booming from a radio on Slughorn's desk. She moved to join them when a slow song came on, and she slouched forward. "Slughorn cleared your schedule for tonight. You're stuck here; you might as well enjoy it."

Severus sneered. "Impossible."

Lily scowled at him. "Well, would you like to dance?"

He shook his head. "No."

She sighed and straightened her stance. "Fine. I'll just go and find Potter. I'm sure _he'll_ dance with me."

Severus' dark eyes flashed and he took to his feet, grabbing Lily's hand. She followed him into the crowd and smiled as he settled his hands nervously on her waist. "Thank you," she said. "It was really you I wanted to dance with anyway. I mean, really, can you imagine Potter on a dance floor?" She shuddered and laughed and didn't notice Severus blushing.

III.

The dungeon was full of fumes both favorable and foul as the third years labored over cauldrons. Lily and Severus were seated beside each other, as they had been since their first Potions class. They tended to work in silence, each enjoying the benefits of uninterrupted concentration. Today, however, Severus leaned over until his forehead nearly made contact with hers, pointing to a line in the text. "Cross it out."

"What?"

"Don't stir it twice clockwise, stir it three times counterclockwise."

Lily glanced at him, puzzled, until she saw that the contents of his cauldron were the exact shade of robin's egg blue that the book described. Turning back to her cauldron, she followed his instructions, and the liquid inside quickly changed to match his.

"How do you figure these things out?" There was amazement in her voice.

"I just do, I suppose."

"Don't be so modest, Sev. You're a bloody genius."

She turned back to her cauldron, barely missing the smile on his face.

IV.

For the first time, Severus didn't much mind being stuck in the dungeon during one of Slughorn's parties. The music was just as loud as always, and the party just as crowded, but this time it was different. This time Lily had fallen asleep with her head against his shoulder and he was content to watch the way her mouth opened and closed slightly as she inhaled and exhaled. Somewhere in the background, he thought he heard Potter shouting something crude, but he simply watched Lily and was at peace.

V.

"Do you bathe in kitchen grease, Snivellus?"

It was a cold January morning, and the Gryffindors and Slytherins were making their way across the snow-covered grounds after a Care of Magical Creatures class. Sirius and James had cut in front of Severus' path and were grinning at each other as they teased him.

"He must – look at him. You'd think he was the pan itself!" James chuckled at his own joke, and Sirius laughed with him. Severus waited in sullen silence, avoiding the gaze of the two boys ahead of him. "What's wrong, Snivellus? Aren't you going to say anything?" Severus was quiet and James pushed him down into the snow. "Well?"

"Leave him alone."

Sirius jumped when he heard Lily's voice; James' eyes fell on her immediately and his gaze softened. She shot an apologetic look at Severus before reaching her hand out to help him get up. He took the hand begrudgingly and began to dust snow off of his cloak. "I'm so sorry, Sev – I had to ask Professor Wells a question." She turned back to James, an expectant look on her face.

"Lily flower," James began confidently, but Lily cut him off.

"I said to leave, and if you don't, I swear on Merlin's wand I'll hex you so badly you won't remember my name."

James began to say "Impossible," but Lily reached inside of her robe and the pair of them sprinted off towards the castle. When they were far enough way, Lily showed Severus the empty pocket inside of her robe and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad they left; can you imagine if I'd threatened to pull a wand on them and then hadn't been able to?" But Severus didn't smile. "Sev, what's wrong?"

He muttered something incoherent.

"What?"

"I don't need you to stick up for me." His teeth were clenched and his ears were red from embarrassment as he continued to shake snow from the black material.

Lily's mouth gaped open, and she was clearly shocked. "Are you being serious?"

"Yes. I don't need you to stand up for me. I don't _want_ you to."

She clenched her jaw and her fists. "Well maybe if you'd do it yourself, I wouldn't have to! Grow up, Sev, and do things for yourself for once. You're my friend, and I won't let you get pushed around by that prat Potter and his friends." She was glaring at him, and he returned the expression.

"The last time I stood up for myself – "

" – you jinxed him! You jinxed Potter and landed yourself in a week's worth of detentions." She exhaled sharply. "Why do I always need to act like your mother?"

Severus stepped forward, looking down at her. The flush of embarrassment on his cheeks had been replaced with an angry mauve, and his dark eyes flashed. "I don't want your help."

"Good," she said, "because you won't have it anymore."

"Fine," he snapped. He turned and walked away quickly, leaving Lily standing alone on the grounds as the bell for next period rang.

VI.

James and Lily were sitting beside each other in the armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. His hand was draped over her shoulders as if he'd been placing it there forever, but to Lily his touch was still foreign and uncomfortable. It felt strange not to be leaning against the sallow-skinned boy who'd once been her best friend.

"I don't know what you saw in him, Lily flower. I don't know how you could have been friends with someone who called you a… well, you know." James reached out to brush a lock of auburn hair from her eyes, and she smiled wistfully.

"I suppose I saw something that didn't exist."

"I suppose you did."

He leans forward and kisses her, and breaks away smiling to himself. Lily doesn't smile back.

VII.

Severus glances uncomfortably at Lily, who stares into the lake.

"You said you wanted to see me," she says, but she avoids his eyes.

"Yes. I…I'm sorry." The words come out a difficult, tangled mess, but Lily knows. Keeping her gaze fixed on the dark, glassy surface of the water, she purses her lips.

"You already apologized."

"I still regret it, and you haven't forgiven me."

"No, you're right. I haven't."

It's awkward for another few moments before Lily mumbles an excuse to return to the castle. "Lily, please – " He reaches out and his fingers graze her arm. She freezes, shivering slightly, and turns to look at him. His voice is hushed and his eyes plead with her as he speaks. "Give me another chance."

She examines him for a moment. "Give me your arm."

He holds it out reluctantly and she carefully gathers the sleeve until she can see the black serpent-tongued skull etched on his forearm. Severus winces but doesn't look away from her.

"Lily, please,' he begs, but she merely lets go of his sleeve and steps back. "Please. You are my best friend."

He sees the guilt in her eyes, and merely whispers her name once more in sad defeat.

"I'm sorry, Severus." She smiles softly at him, her fingertips brushing his chin. "I can't do it anymore.

He stays silent as he lets her walk away.


End file.
